Phil, as drawn by my dad!	Phil Harrass Private HMI
Home Mail me!	There is an underdog classic car connection here... honest! Phil Harrass has appeared in the Times Educational Supplement Scotland since the early 1990s, a time when those in charge wanted to privatise everything that moved and several things that didn't. Next in line was to be Her Majesty's Inspectorate of Schools, though this never actually came to pass. I was joking about private inspectors coming into schools to do their work for fifty a day plus expenses. "You should write that stuff down," someone said, perhaps in the hope that if I wrote about it I'd stop talking. I did, and sent the piece off to the Herald newspaper. They rejected it but the TESS didn't and happened to be on the lookout for a new columnist. And the rest, as they say in years P1-S2, is environmental studies. Here are some Infrequently Asked Questions about Phil Harrass: Where did Phil get his name? It sounds like a well known brand of science equipment crossed with harassment. Anyone who took the business of school inspection out of the laptop and dropped it in the gutter would have to have the first name "Phil" anyway. Uninterestingly enough, he didn't have a name in the first article, whose "city of the moving stair" opener is a rip-off of one of my favourite detective novel's opening lines. Check out William McIlvanney's "The Papers of Tony Veitch". Why does Phil drive a Skoda Rapid? I drove one too (see the web page). Like most fictional detectives, he needed an interesting car. As he was not well off, it had to be a cheap one. Note that there are never any Skoda jokes in the articles but some people seemed to think it was funny every time the car was mentioned. I am reminded of a TV programme about the making of the Doctor In The House show. The writers deliberately set out to mention "bedpan" as often as possible in a particular episode. The word always got a laugh, whatever the context. Phil has also owned a Triumph Herald and a Skoda Favorit in his time, as have I. Who was Micky the Ferret? He was Phil's boss at the time when Michael Forsyth was Secretary of State for Scotland. Some people thought that Micky was based on Michael. Goodness me! Note that Phil comes to respect Micky just as a turf war has him replaced. Favourite line? "The dame had legs as long as a council statement on anti-sexism." You can see some of the Phil Harrass articles on the Times Educational Supplement Scotland web site by going into the archive section.

Phil, as drawn by my dad!

Phil Harrass

Private HMI

There is an underdog classic car connection here... honest!

Phil Harrass has appeared in the Times Educational Supplement Scotland since the early 1990s, a time when those in charge wanted to privatise everything that moved and several things that didn't. Next in line was to be Her Majesty's Inspectorate of Schools, though this never actually came to pass. I was joking about private inspectors coming into schools to do their work for fifty a day plus expenses. "You should write that stuff down," someone said, perhaps in the hope that if I wrote about it I'd stop talking. I did, and sent the piece off to the Herald newspaper. They rejected it but the TESS didn't and happened to be on the lookout for a new columnist. And the rest, as they say in years P1-S2, is environmental studies.

Here are some Infrequently Asked Questions about Phil Harrass:

Where did Phil get his name?

It sounds like a well known brand of science equipment crossed with harassment. Anyone who took the business of school inspection out of the laptop and dropped it in the gutter would have to have the first name "Phil" anyway. Uninterestingly enough, he didn't have a name in the first article, whose "city of the moving stair" opener is a rip-off of one of my favourite detective novel's opening lines. Check out William McIlvanney's "The Papers of Tony Veitch".

Why does Phil drive a Skoda Rapid?

I drove one too (see the web page). Like most fictional detectives, he needed an interesting car. As he was not well off, it had to be a cheap one. Note that there are never any Skoda jokes in the articles but some people seemed to think it was funny every time the car was mentioned. I am reminded of a TV programme about the making of the Doctor In The House show. The writers deliberately set out to mention "bedpan" as often as possible in a particular episode. The word always got a laugh, whatever the context. Phil has also owned a Triumph Herald and a Skoda Favorit in his time, as have I.

Who was Micky the Ferret?

He was Phil's boss at the time when Michael Forsyth was Secretary of State for Scotland. Some people thought that Micky was based on Michael. Goodness me! Note that Phil comes to respect Micky just as a turf war has him replaced.

Favourite line?

"The dame had legs as long as a council statement on anti-sexism."

You can see some of the Phil Harrass articles on the Times Educational Supplement Scotland web site by going into the archive section.